A Super-Woman's Diary

Deirdre is...  Current mood: Blah Category: Life *Don't Read if YOU have never made mistakes!* Hurting from what her Mother said. Hurting from what her Mother does. Tired of being lonely at night. Thinking about what Evolution really means. Making excuses for people instead of dealing with them head-on. Hates how her relationship with her Mother is turning out. Thinking it's been long enough. Thinking too much really. Wanting more out of life. Hoping for bigger and better things this year. Missing her Father finally. Upset he made the decision he made when she was 17. Not going to hold a grudge anymore though. Masturbating too much these days. Afraid she will go blind. Laughing her butt off! Not prepared for the future at all Sick of games and mind tricks. Just as screwed up as the next chick. Still hurting from the past. Grateful for second chances. St

I am the Gem that the Jeweler Refused... Current mood: bummed Category: Life As I write this, my heart is breaking. I can feel the quakes ripple inside my chest as my mind continues to recall our past. Our past...that's a funny statement when I think about it. We really didn't have much of a past, but what we did have has left a scar on my heart. I am bleeding sorrow from the pit of my soul! I just want to scream!! I can hardly breathe!!! What could have me this un-nerved, I am losing a man that I never had...that's what. When I first heard that he was leaving, it didn't really sink in. I guess because I thought he wouldn't really leave. Then I some how put the whole thing out of my mind, and begun the draining efforts in which to get him back. Did I really even want him back or was it all just so he wou

I’m feeling THE "R" Current mood: Anxious Category: Blogging I'm feeling THE "R" I am feeling so rejected right now. I had to say that out loud. I don't feel any better, but I had to say it. I had to slap the Devil in his face with the very thing he is trying use to hurt me with. I have been down this road so many times til it is not funny anymore. I find myself standing outside of myself and shaking my head thinking "how did I get here again..." How did I get here? I walked right into the line of fire that's how. Just when I thought I was over the BIG "R"...here it is again. Allow me to introduce you to the "R" it's real name is Rejection and it is an ugly emotion to feel. It's main purpose is to make you feel less th

Seems Like You're Ready... Well, today is the day, I will start dedicating myself to completing my book. That's right, I have finally decided; enough is enough! I mean, here I am helping everyone else, write, edit and submit their work; yet I remain stagnated when it comes to my own. This damn book has been about 12 years in the making. I feel like Alistair Macleod: the famous author who took 10 years writing his first collection of short stories entitled  The Lost Salt Gift of Blood. I am, needless to say, quite upset with myself, and because of this, I plan on getting my entire life; and dedicating the month of September to completing this "Overdue" Masterpiece!     Any man who keeps working is not a failure. He may not be a great writer, but if he applies the old-fashioned virtues of hard, constant labor, he’ll eventually make some kind of career for himself as writer . – Ray Bradbury

     Let me start by saying, I regret nothing. Not quite sure why I had to say that off the top, however, I must have felt it necessary. I used to hate the terms: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" and "Life can/will throw you a curve ball..." blah blah blah. That is until life actually threw me and curve ball, then turned around and gave me a sack full of lemons right to the head! You see, in August of 2015, I found out I was going to have you, and let me tell you - I was petrified! (I rarely get to use that word in a sentence) I mean I was thrown for the biggest loop I had ever seen. I do believe I cried almost a week. I wasn't crying because I was sad, embarrassed or even mad at the notion of becoming a mother for the first time, but rather I was amazed at becoming a mother for the first time. Seems like I had been waiting my entire life for that moment and all I could do was cry. I was overwhelmed to say the least, yet I was extremely excited abou

Image by Puzzler4879 via Flickr As I sit here on the edge of my bed, I begin to hear a song in my heart. It then leads to my throat and all of a sudden the words come out. I have never written a song before, nor have I ever tried to write a song, however, as I began to think of all the disappointments and heart-aches I have ever experienced; the words just came out. "I wanna let go this time. I wanna be mine all mine. I want the love that only God has for me. Don't wanna be wrong this time. I wanna be whole oh my. I want the love that only comes from being free." ~Didi