Almost doesn't count.

Okay as I lay here and listen to the screaming and yelling, fussing and
fighting from the couple next door, I realize just how blessed I am to
be single. I get lonely like the rest and I often long for the need for
companionship, but when all is said and done...I am truly gratful for
singledom.

Now they (the couple next door) have been yelling since 11:47 and it is
now a quarter to 1 in the morning. It amazes me what some people will
take from another. I can remember being crazy about this guy who was and
is in love with another girl. I mean what else could it be...he would
take so much from her and off her that it was only befitting to call it
love. Toni Braxton sings a song called "Trippin" in the song there is a
line that says "Ain't nobody ever proved their loved when/things are all
good and two people are smiling/Love is found way down in the trenches
when/he's throwing a fit and she's sitting there crying" I always
thought that line was made up or just a bunch of "lyrics" but boy was I
wrong. I can recall certain incidents in my mind when I either saw or
heard of a "love" like the one mentioned in that song. It's funny
because I can't remember one time when I ever heard either party say the
words "I love you/him/her." I never heard them say that despite
everything, they still love one another. Instead all I've ever heard was
"I hate him!" or "He/She makes me sick." Or they complain all the time
about the other.

I used to think that finding that special someone comes without all the
drama and extra baggage. It will be picture perfect and all I have to do
is maintain it. Sort of like a hair weave or micro braids. When you
first get them, they are perfect. They are neat and in prefect order.
Now once they start to loosen up and your hair begins to grow, you have
to take better care of them. Maintance starts to occur or you have to
get a touch up to the areas that need it the most. Just like hair or any
other aspect of life that a person desires to maintain that special look
and feel it had when they first got it, a person must/should govern that
same attitude when it comes to a relationship.

I've heard people say "if it aint broke, don't fix it" well I happen to
believe that if something is in need of a repair you should fix it
before it breaks. Many times people will see signs that something is
wrong, but will sit back and wait until it falls apart completely before
they try to fix it. Take my mothers floor model TV for instance. She got
it when we were kids and around the time I was going to college it
conked out. Now prior to the conking, it made this frying noise on every
other station. It would fade to black after being on for a long time.
And sometimes it wouldn't come on at all...but you could still hear the
sound. Now if it were me, I would have had a repair man come out
somewhere around the frying noise. However, Mom would just beat the
sides of it til the frying stopped and eventually got upset and made a
plant stand out of it.

The bottom line is this, if someone or something is not what it used to
be, try and see if something can be done to fix the problem before it
becomes worst. And if that does not work, step back and look at the
situation and what got you there in the first place and decide whether
or not its even worth fixing in the first place. If you find yourself
choosing the latter, let that thing go and get a new and improved one
instead. Don't ever settle for the half or almost of anything. You
deserve better.

....Glad to be single...for now anyway.


Until we read again,
Dee

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