She will never get her Roses now...*sigh*....

"We had our first argument last night, and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said, because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today!.
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day. Last night he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare, I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry cause he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today, and it wasn't mother's day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again, it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
Well I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.....it was my funeral!
Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I had gathered enough courage to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today......." (Anonymous)

I don't know who wrote this, and I never thought I would have to use it...all I know is that it fits the post for my girlfriend of like forever...died today. I can barely see as I write this post so forgive me for any typos you might find. I don't know how many of my blogbuddies remember reading a post I wrote called: (007dee3...I can't save the world ya'll) well in that post I received a call from a longtime friend of mine who had locked herself in the bathroom of her house because her boyfriend had jumped on her again and she wanted me to come and get her. Well me being the superhero I believe myself to be...I gathered up a few of my guy friends and went to her rescue. I told her that if she went back not to call me anymore because I felt that going back to a man that would rather beat you up then lift you up was crazy as hell and she must want to be there and go through that ish...why else would she go back?
Now ppl have said that maybe it is low self esteem that makes woman stay in those type of relationships, and that fear has alot to do with it as well. I lost a good friend to an abusive boyfriend when I was a teenager, so I do know how it works...but I still don't understand it....whew...give me a minute..........................

Okay...I am single because my heart has been broken by so many men that I said skip this ish! I don't have to take this ish!...I have never had a man to beat me up before, however if I feel I am way to damn important for some guy to use and break my heart...I know I would leave some nigg who has the nerve to put his hands on me. I am a "low tolerance for bullish" type of person and I feel that I deserve better then that!
How come she didn't feel that same way? Why did she go back to a man that hurt her? Why didn't she know her self worth? Why did I tell her not to call me anymore? Why do bad things happen to good ppl? Why?...............................my heart is so broken right now from this ish that I can barely see from all the tears I shed. She should have stayed away from him! She should have stayed away!
I know you can read in the papers or look at the news where women who have left an abusive relationship still are killed by their ex husbands or ex boyfriends...at least they had the courage to flee. I don't want anyone to die at the hands of another person, I think that is just plain wrong....but why did she go back?

When I got the call that she had been killed, I was out with my sister shopping for a new car, and all I kept thinking about was when we were little kids and we would play dress up. She would always pretend she was a wife who had the perfect husband. My sister was the rich and successful grown up. I of course was the flower child/free spirit grown up that only wanted to be happy...........Why did we have to grow up?...........................................Damn Shay! I will miss you my Chica!

Shay Sanders

1972~2005