Just because YOU think I'm not small enough, doesn't mean I'm not beautiful.


Just because u think I'm not small enough, doesn't mean I'm not beautiful.
Current mood: Nostalgic
Category: Romance and Relationships

I have spent the most part of my life trying to look the way others wanted me to. I was anorexic/bulimic for about 5 years of my life. From 91 til about 96. I didn't want to gain anymore weight and I was hell bent on losing the weight I already had. It was a horrible time in my life. I didn't tell anyone...no one knew.

I was in love with this guy that considered me only a notch in his belt. I hated him and I loved him at the same time. At least I thought it was love. It might have been lust and raging hormones. Whatever it was I was in deep. And all while I was in whatever I was in with this guy, he did not see me at all. I felt like Angie in 'Saturday Night Fever' when she tried to get Tony to notice her. She was one sad individual. I think I regurgitated water trying to get small enough for him to notice me.

Then I met another guy in September of 91...on my birthday as a matter of fact. It was the best birthday ever...until 2005 that is. When we would go out to eat, which was rare, I would throw that meal up and he never knew about it. Again I was trying my best not to gain anymore weight. I wanted to look like he wanted me to look..... Whatever the heck that was.

And now today I met this guy a few weeks ago and he seemed to reject me before I even said a word. He was watching me. He was checking for me. I didn't even see him at first. I was minding my own. Then I get out of my car and walk towards the building and he has the nerve to say "you look smaller in the car..." WTFilp! How dare him! I am not the kind of person that snaps off, so I simply said this... "just because you don't think I'm small enough, doesn't mean I'm any less beautiful!" and with a Fabulous strut brought to you by Jimmy Choo courtesy of 4 inch heeled winter white boots, I walked off feeling just as confident as I did before I got out of the car.

Wow!

Until We Read Again, Deirdre

Comments

Eb the Celeb said…
Sorry you had to go threw that a couple weeks ago sis... thats just ignorant... own your body.. no matter what size you are... its about being healthy ultimately... glad you are no longer dealing with an eating disorder and have the strength to own your worth and strut away from that fool still confidant.

Happy holidays!
Monday, December 24, 2007
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