Flaws and All

"I have a flat behind. My skin is breaking out. I bite my nails. The big toe on both feet is way too big, and my arch is falling. The hair around my edges is falling out. I pass gas in my sleep and I am quite for sure I snore. My breast are too big. I am out of shape. I can't cook a decent meal without instructions. My heart is broken, and I have way too much baggage from past relationships. I cry all the time. When I am mad I play the silent game. My arms jiggle when I wave goodbye to people due to that fat that seems to be the hardest to get rid of. I have stretch marks on my stomach and I need to lose about 25 pounds. My eyebrows don't seem to arch correctly. I am missing two back teeth. I have a keloid on my left ear, and a flesh mole on my chin that looks like a scar. My nose is too wide. My feet are big. I am a Diabetic with fear of needles issues. I miss handle money by spending it on way too expensive things. I wipe my wet hands on my shirt or pants, and sometimes wipe nose with my sleeves. I don't always cover my mouth when I cough, and my eyes cross up sometimes when I stare too long. I have oily skin that makes my forehead shine. I eat while in bed and don't always swap out the crumbs. At times I can be really selfish and a bit of a nag. I always want my way. I cry way too much. I have about 5 things I am insecure about. And to top it all off...I am an emotional wreck!"

I finally mustered up enough courage to ask this guy from my church out for coffee or dinner or whatever comes out during the asking process, and I wondered to myself what flaws (if any) would he see in me. Of course this prompted me to look within myself and list all the things I find wrong with myself that I thought he would see.

I will get to this in a minute...

I took this class at my church entitled "Masters" and it truly opened my eyes to the real me. I mean most of the things I learned during this class I already knew, but then there were things about myself that I did not know. The class did however confirm that I am indeed an Extrovert...like you didn't know that right? Here are a few of the attributes of an Extrovert.

General Characteristics

~Projects their energy outwardly, making their actions easy for all to see.

~Absorb themselves in activities.

~Focus outwardly toward activities and actions.
~Speaks freely and vocally.
~Tolerates crowds and noise, but can be easily distracted.....(oooh Gary Dourdan is on TV...)
~Meets People readily and participate in many activities.
~Enjoys a public arena with lots going on.
~Gets restless without involvement with people or activities.
~Skim the surface and act quickly, in an expedient way.


Now aside from that distraction comment...tee hee...I find this all to be quit true.

Relationship Styles

~Likes having many acquaintances and friendships in addition to their primary one.
~Enters a new relationship easily and throw caution to the wind.
~Talk about their relationships to others...(do not!)
~Feel in their element during the relationship game...(I can't call it)
~Make contact with almost everyone at social events.
~Discuss any and all of their thoughts readily with their partner.
~Quickly become lonely when their partner is absent.
~Share their personal space and time easily with others.

Now there are only about 5 of these that I agree with, for I find it incredibly hard to approach a guy when I find him attractive or interesting, so I don't know what the heck they are talking about! When it comes to relationships I think I am more of an Introvert then an Extrovert.

Which leads me to my opening quoted statement. I had this far out day dream that I was on a date with this certain guy I find attractive and interesting and mid way through the date, I felt the need to blurt out all the things I ever wanted to say to a guy (about myself) right off the bat! In the day dream it felt very freeing and liberating, and the guy assured me that he liked me for me. I just wonder how I would really feel if I were to express myself like that and furthermore...how would the guy feel. I will never know I guess for until I begin to live up to the "relationship styles" of an Extrovert, I will continue to day dream.


Until we read again,
Deirdre Edwina