A Super-Woman's Diary

R.I.P Julian ...And I thought I was going to cry. When I got up this morning I had every intention of going to his funeral. I had even picked out my "funeral outfit" and everything the night before. I knew what dress I was going to wear. I knew what shoes I was going put on. And I even had my speech prepared just in case anyone from my past were to ask me why I was there. I mean come on any real woman worth her salt has the "man from my past" speech ready to go by 18. Yet as the day went on and the time grew closer, I couldn't do it. A feeling of "is this really necessary" came over me and I literally did not feel led to go. Immediately I began to pray. "Lord, is it me or is it you?" I asked. I didn't want to be in flesh at all in my decision. I mean would me being there make one ounce of difference... In fact, I began to feel like I was simply going so that everyone would see how fabulous I look and that would have been totally wrong. Bo...

Road Not Taken by Robert Frost Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. *I'm so here right now. I Love this Poem*

Man I tell you, once I start I can't make it stop. When I begin to think on a thing it literally takes over my whole thought pattern until I eventually fall asleep. One minute I'm thinking about how awesome church service was, and the next thing I know...he pops in my head. Maybe it was the scent in the hall as I came home today. Maybe it was the way the janitor said hello. Maybe it was the three digit prefix in a number on my caller ID. Maybe it was the purchase of Nutter Butters on the way home that did it. Or maybe it is just one of those days when I wish I wasn't alone and desperately wanted some one to hold. I don't know what it was but I know it sucks. As I always do I try to find the good in him that will make me call or txt and ask "how you doing?" I try to find the one thing that will make me think he is not all that bad. I spend hours trying to find that "sliver lining" that is never where it's supposed to be. And I try to convince myse...

I just found out that the guy I gave my virginity to, the one I gave my heart to and the one that broke my heart for the first time, was killed Wednesday night. I have to say I didn't feel anything when I heard the news, I simply felt sorry for his children. I was told about 2weeks ago that he had 2 sons and they popped in my head the moment I was told about this tragedy. The children are the ones that suffer the most in these kinds of situations. I feel so bad for them. I didn't even think about all the hurt and pain he once caused me. I couldn't even recall the moment when I lost my virginity to him. I still don't remember the place where we met and I can't even remember what he looked like. Most people will say that's a shame, but I say it's the Lord who erased those memories along with my past, and for that I am grateful. The old folks always say that when a person, place or thing pops up out the blue and something kicks up inside of you...you haven'...