Dear Diary: That Thinking Thing

Man I tell you, once I start I can't make it stop. When I begin to think on a thing it literally takes over my whole thought pattern until I eventually fall asleep. One minute I'm thinking about how awesome church service was, and the next thing I know...he pops in my head.

Maybe it was the scent in the hall as I came home today. Maybe it was the way the janitor said hello. Maybe it was the three digit prefix in a number on my caller ID. Maybe it was the purchase of Nutter Butters on the way home that did it. Or maybe it is just one of those days when I wish I wasn't alone and desperately wanted some one to hold. I don't know what it was but I know it sucks.

As I always do I try to find the good in him that will make me call or txt and ask "how you doing?" I try to find the one thing that will make me think he is not all that bad. I spend hours trying to find that "sliver lining" that is never where it's supposed to be. And I try to convince myself that there is a bright side...I'm so Ann Frank...lol!

Well at least my heart knows better. For it will not allow my brain to do anything other then think. Good thing my heart has sense.