The Little Year That Could...(have killed me)
Okay so it is a new year and that means new things are about to happen. The old things maybe be old, but they still exist. I had a really wonderful year through all the problems, ups and downs, ins and outs, situations and circumstances. I have to say that I had a pretty good year over all....because I'm still ALIVE!
2007 in review:
January: The month of "New beginnings"
I had gone through so much in 2006, that I was more then ready to start a fresh in 2007. I was working as a Medical Assistant and was going on 2 years there, when all Hell broke loose! So I had to really pull on God in order to even have the strength to get up and go to work every day...but I SURVIVED!
February: The month of "Growth"
During this month I learn a lot about how to keep my feelings OFF my shoulder. I grew up mentally and spiritually. I had a lot of help with this process let me tell you....their names were Angie and Darcey. Anyway, they meant well I know, and the way they act is no reflection of what's truly in their hearts. (I hope so at least) They really gave your girl the once over. I mean they let me have it in more ways then one. You see I have a problem when people speak to me in a harsh tone...okay okay my feelings get hurt! I can't stand it! But that is how Angie broke me all the way down (I really didn't handle it well at all) Now whether or not they were right or wrong...it was for my good.
March: The month of "Change"
This was a month when I think I did the most crying. I cried about everything from: my job, to my so called "boyfriend" to the one guy I truly wanted to be with, to my Church home. I was so tired that I said to myself... "I Quit!" I was living with my girlfriend at the time and it was not working. Now she wasn't my problem, her husband was. That's right, he was supposed to be gone from the house as per their separation, but he was there all the time, and it drove me crazy. Not to mention the fact that my job was in jeopardy and I didn't know what that outcome was going to be.
April: The month of "Dealing with Spirits"
At this point in the year I was still trying to deal with my co-workers and their mess...Darcey in particular. She was really weird...I'm talking Willy Wonka weird. She made my job so hard. There were times I didn't want to even walk into this place because she was so outrageous. Now I know I can be a pill sometimes, but at least I knew how to leave my jive at home. Which is more then I can say for my other co-worker Angie...she and I had been close at one point, but somehow it went sour. Our boss lady came in and had this awesome meeting and things got a bit better. Needless to say I had to go through this season of "dealing" for quite a while. Can any one say "long suffering"
May: The month of "Heartache and Pain"
Man my heart was so broke during this month it wasn't even funny. 1st I lost my JOB!!!! I mean they just sold it right out from under us and didn't even give us a package out! I was so upset and hurt I simply couldn't believe it. It all happen so fast. One minute I had a job and the next minute I was on the unemployment line. It was horrifying. I felt like I didn't have anyone to turn to.
2nd I made the very painful decision to leave the church I had been a member of since 97. It was for the best, but that didn't make it hurt any less. On one hand I felt like i was letting my Pastor down. And on the other hand I knew it was God and I had to do what HE told me to do. And
3rd I found myself homeless. I had to move in with my sister because where there is no money, there is no way to pay your bills. I was done.
June: The month of R&R
Well since I was now unemployed I decided to take a minute to rest and breathe and think about my next move. I was able to reconnect with my family in more ways then I could have imaged and just have some fun and take some of the pressure off. I took a drive out to Indianapolis with my Mother and youngest nephew, so I was feeling real positive about the outlook of things.
July: The month of "Phony Parenting"
This was the month that my Mother's and I relationship took a real turn for the worst. We could hardly have a decent conversation with one another without it turning into an argument. I used to have so much trust in my Mother (although I still love her so very much) but something happened and it would be a while before I found out what it was. I was still not working and I was becoming very unhappy.
August: The month of "Throw Backs"
In this month I went back to my Mother's birthplace and took care of some business with my sister. Well she actually took care of the business I just watched. It was something that needed to be done and unless we took care of it, it would never had gotten done. When it was all taken care of, we thought everything would snap back into place. My Mother had gotten to the point where she was simply not being a good steward of her money or her business. I felt helpless but I didn't want to argue with her so I didn't bother with it.
September: The month of "Fabulousness"
This is the month I turned 34 years old!!!! And dang it I look good!!! I feel more fabulous now then I had ever felt before. I already had pretty great self esteem...but now it is off the chain!!! I am in good health, in my right mind, and I am living life to the fullest. Thank you Father for life health and strength! And a sound and sober mind! Welcome back "T"
October: The month of "3 fold blessings to come"
Still no job by this month, but I was yet holding on. I found myself getting more and more into my Word and my relationship with Jesus Christ. I had to build up my prayer life, because I was sinking into depression and I didn't like that feeling one bit. It was hard not having a job or money in my pocket. Every dime I did get it had to go on my car. This was rough no doubt. This was the month I received a prophecy about my 3 fold blessings that were to come.
November: The month of "Refinement"
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That's all I can say.
December: The month of "Tears , Fears and Gears"
I just knew that when this month came I was going to lose my dang frang mind! But I didn't. This was also the month for my Sisters 39th birthday and the Katt Williams concert!!!! It was bad Millz! I am going into the new year with a better attitude. I don't want to go into 2008 the same way...I simply cant.
Throughout last year I had some ups and some downs....but through them all I stayed true to one person and one thing....ME! I told myself long time ago that I was going to be the best me that I could possibly be....and I am improving more and more everyday.
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