Where Do I Go From Here?
Father,
It's me O Lord, your child DeeDee. I know it's been a while since we last spoke, well since I last spoke, for you speak to my heart every single day. I hear you and I feel you, but sometimes I try to go my own way. Ever since I signed my name on the list for the Teacher's Training Class and ANIFL, I heard your voice speak through Sis. Joanne when she said... "from this day on your life is now not your own. And believe me when I say that the enemy is going to try any and everything in his power to try and discourage you from the choice you have made...just be encouraged in knowing that he will not succeed." I heard those words reply over and over in my mind ever since I received that call on Friday concerning my apartment Lord. I was so hurt and confused as to why something like this could happen to me. Something so mean...I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and cry my eyes out. Father, I have always been the kind of person that wouldn't harm a fly. I have always done right by people and lived a good life. Now Father, I know goodness is not salvation, and I try everyday to walk up rightly before you and represent you in the best way I know how. It becomes more and more heart breaking for me when things like this happen to me. I began to wonder...'What am I doing wrong' Then my mind goes back to the times when I went left and you told me to go right. But you are not that kind of Father Lord, that you would willfully and purposely cause my heart to break and to cause me to feel pain. I know that reaping is apart of this walk I have chosen and that you will comfort me and take me through it...it just hurts Father. When I finally arrived at m apartment on that Friday night, tears began to roll down my face. I didn't even want to be there. That place has never felt like home to me...ever and to have someone break in it and steal things that I worked hard to get, made me sick to my stomach. I want to hear your voice so bad Father, but I couldn't...all I could hear was the beating of my heart as I walked up those stairs. The door was wide open, all I could see from the stair case was the hallway light. It felt strange to me Father like I was in another world space and time. The closer I got to the door, the sicker I became. The neighbors were trying to comfort me Father, but I just didn't receive it. All I wanted to do was crawl away somewhere. You saw and felt my pain as I walked in that apartment Father, It was all I could do not to break down. I wanted to run as fast as my legs would take me, but I couldn't move. I needed you like never before Father. All my things were everywhere and all I kept saying was "O my God...O my God..." I was calling your name Father. Thank you for listening to me...I heard your voice tell me that it was going to be okay. I heard you when you said... "Don't wait til the battle is over, Shout now!" Even when my Landscum said things to me that were out of line, you still gave me peace. I let his ragged butt have it, but you seasoned my words with grace and you made him repent to me. Father I need you now more then ever. I need your guidance now more then ever. Father I need you to tell me what to do now.
They took my shoes Father, but they didn't take my Faith. They took my DVD players Father, but they didn't take my Peace. They took my crystals Father, but they didn't take my Grace. They took my personal items Father, but they didn't take my Spirit. They threw my clothes and everything all about my apart and made it a complete mess Father, but they didn't take my Life! I thank you Lord for Life on today and I thank you for seeing my need before I see the situation. Father I thank you for those few people that you placed in my life on that day for strength. My Mother Lord, thank you for her strength and her courage. Marva, Father, thank for her willingness to help and for her commitment to our friendship. Thank for Tressa Lord. For Joanne Lord. For Deborah Father God. For Glenda Father...I thank you putting those people in my path to help me during this time. Thank you Father for going before me and making everything alright. Even when I don't deserve it Lord God you always come through for me and for that I say Thank you. I ask in your sons name, that you will continue to keep me and continue to protect me from all hurt harm and danger, both seen and unseen. I ask that you look upon those you have placed in my life and protect them as well. I ask that you dispatch an angel of protect even around my enemies Lord God that they may one day feel the love that I feel in my heart right now for you. Save those that need to be saved and heal those that need to be healed. Even in their hearts Lord God. These blessings I ask in Jesus name...Thank you Father. For listening to my heart today...and always.
DeeDee.
It's me O Lord, your child DeeDee. I know it's been a while since we last spoke, well since I last spoke, for you speak to my heart every single day. I hear you and I feel you, but sometimes I try to go my own way. Ever since I signed my name on the list for the Teacher's Training Class and ANIFL, I heard your voice speak through Sis. Joanne when she said... "from this day on your life is now not your own. And believe me when I say that the enemy is going to try any and everything in his power to try and discourage you from the choice you have made...just be encouraged in knowing that he will not succeed." I heard those words reply over and over in my mind ever since I received that call on Friday concerning my apartment Lord. I was so hurt and confused as to why something like this could happen to me. Something so mean...I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and cry my eyes out. Father, I have always been the kind of person that wouldn't harm a fly. I have always done right by people and lived a good life. Now Father, I know goodness is not salvation, and I try everyday to walk up rightly before you and represent you in the best way I know how. It becomes more and more heart breaking for me when things like this happen to me. I began to wonder...'What am I doing wrong' Then my mind goes back to the times when I went left and you told me to go right. But you are not that kind of Father Lord, that you would willfully and purposely cause my heart to break and to cause me to feel pain. I know that reaping is apart of this walk I have chosen and that you will comfort me and take me through it...it just hurts Father. When I finally arrived at m apartment on that Friday night, tears began to roll down my face. I didn't even want to be there. That place has never felt like home to me...ever and to have someone break in it and steal things that I worked hard to get, made me sick to my stomach. I want to hear your voice so bad Father, but I couldn't...all I could hear was the beating of my heart as I walked up those stairs. The door was wide open, all I could see from the stair case was the hallway light. It felt strange to me Father like I was in another world space and time. The closer I got to the door, the sicker I became. The neighbors were trying to comfort me Father, but I just didn't receive it. All I wanted to do was crawl away somewhere. You saw and felt my pain as I walked in that apartment Father, It was all I could do not to break down. I wanted to run as fast as my legs would take me, but I couldn't move. I needed you like never before Father. All my things were everywhere and all I kept saying was "O my God...O my God..." I was calling your name Father. Thank you for listening to me...I heard your voice tell me that it was going to be okay. I heard you when you said... "Don't wait til the battle is over, Shout now!" Even when my Landscum said things to me that were out of line, you still gave me peace. I let his ragged butt have it, but you seasoned my words with grace and you made him repent to me. Father I need you now more then ever. I need your guidance now more then ever. Father I need you to tell me what to do now.
They took my shoes Father, but they didn't take my Faith. They took my DVD players Father, but they didn't take my Peace. They took my crystals Father, but they didn't take my Grace. They took my personal items Father, but they didn't take my Spirit. They threw my clothes and everything all about my apart and made it a complete mess Father, but they didn't take my Life! I thank you Lord for Life on today and I thank you for seeing my need before I see the situation. Father I thank you for those few people that you placed in my life on that day for strength. My Mother Lord, thank you for her strength and her courage. Marva, Father, thank for her willingness to help and for her commitment to our friendship. Thank for Tressa Lord. For Joanne Lord. For Deborah Father God. For Glenda Father...I thank you putting those people in my path to help me during this time. Thank you Father for going before me and making everything alright. Even when I don't deserve it Lord God you always come through for me and for that I say Thank you. I ask in your sons name, that you will continue to keep me and continue to protect me from all hurt harm and danger, both seen and unseen. I ask that you look upon those you have placed in my life and protect them as well. I ask that you dispatch an angel of protect even around my enemies Lord God that they may one day feel the love that I feel in my heart right now for you. Save those that need to be saved and heal those that need to be healed. Even in their hearts Lord God. These blessings I ask in Jesus name...Thank you Father. For listening to my heart today...and always.
DeeDee.
Comments
I remember when they broke into my girlfriend's apartment, we actually saw them taking out the things and made an alarm, and they ran. I kinda know that feeling when you see your door wide open and your place ram-sacked, it's as if you got violated.
I stick to my words that "theifs should be severly punished, even killed", harsh but being robbed is harsh.
Glad you're safe though.
Keep ya head up doll.
SD