A Super-Woman's Diary

Things you may wonder while daydreaming.... 1. Sleep in the nude? Sometimes depending on how hot it is. 2. Last 5 songs u want to hear before u die. Never would have made it (Marvin Sapp) Bruised but not broken (Joss Stone) Imagine me (Kirk Franklin) Encourage urself (Donald Lawrence) L.O.V.E (Joss Stone) 3. Last 5 movies u want to see before u die. Legends of the Fall, Brown Sugar, Five Heartbeats, Hitch, Disappearing Acts 4. Last 5 things u'll eat before u die. Pizza, wheat chex, chicken enchalilads, Friday's chicken and Shrimp skillet, McDonalds Fish sandwich 4. Things that disturb u greatly. Liars, Users, phony ppl, and tapping me on my body instead of simply calling my name! 5. I always wonder.... ....why I have such bad luck with men. 6. The Bible. The best 3 books in it, and why? Esther, Proverbs and Isaiah. Esther becuz it speaks of one womans courage and strength to do Gods will. Proverbs becuz it details a womans charge in the kingdom of God. And Isaiah becuz....well ...

Just because u think I'm not small enough, doesn't mean I'm not beautiful. Current mood: Nostalgic Category: Romance and Relationships I have spent the most part of my life trying to look the way others wanted me to. I was anorexic/bulimic for about 5 years of my life. From 91 til about 96. I didn't want to gain anymore weight and I was hell bent on losing the weight I already had. It was a horrible time in my life. I didn't tell anyone...no one knew. I was in love with this guy that considered me only a notch in his belt. I hated him and I loved him at the same time. At least I thought it was love. It might have been lust and raging hormones. Whatever it was I was in deep. And all while I was in whatever I was in with this guy, he did not see me at all. I felt like Angie in 'Saturday Night Fever' when she tried to get Tony to notice her. She was one sad individual. I think I regurgitated water trying to get small enough for him to notice me. Then I...

With my heart beating faster then a child that braves a roller coaster for the first time, I pick up the phone and begin to dial. 773-8....I can't believe I'm doing this. My fingers tremble with fear that my brain has relaid and I hang up fast right before the last digit is pressed. Telling myself to breathe, I begin to think of 100 reasons to make the call and 1000 reasons not to. Finally I get up enough brave to dial again...773-8..-.... all the digits are displayed on the screen. I stare at the phone as my heart skips a beat. It feels like it's about to pop right out of my chest. I am so nervous right now. What if he doesn't answer? What if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if another girl answers the phone? Forget it.....I put the phone down again. Why do I torture myself like this? Where has my nerve gone? Why does he make me feel like this? Only he can make me feel like a school girl on the first day. Scared to death! I hate this feeling. Forget it, I'm ...

This is one of the cutest, nicest e-mails .. enjoy!

Okay I think I am affraid to start a new relationship. I really do. I think I have some sort of fobia about dating someone and it actually work out. I honestly feel like I have a serious problem here, and I don't know how to fix it. I mean if a guy asks me out, I make up some dump excuse not to go out with him. I mean I literally freak out when it comes to dating someone. What the heck is wrong with me! There is this guy I am talking to right now. He seems really interesting and everything, but I feel like he is running game on me. I feel like he only wants to get me into bed with him, and the sad part is that he could be a really great guy. I mean he has a job. He owns his own home. He has a couple of buildings. No children....he seems like a pretty good guy...I'm just not sure of him. I feel so stupid. Like I see couples walking hand in hand and I want that, but when it almost happens I freak out. I think I have relationship anxiety or some mess. I swear I do. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Okay so I have been blogging for about 2 1/2 years now and when I started, I only wanted to release some energy and use blogging as an outlet for all the anger, hurt and pain I was feeling. I never meant to hurt anyone with my thoughts and I certainly didn't want to make anyone upset with me. I have always been the kind of person that expressed herself via a pen and paper. I have so many Diaries and Notebooks and saved Word documents, til it is not funny. I absolutely love it. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't express myself through writing. Well earlier this year somewhere around (April-May) I found out that some of my writings and expressions of thought rubbed someone the wrong way. I mean this person was so upset with me that not only did they stop speaking to me, but they also acused me or slandering their name on another unflattering web site. Now I had nothing to do with the latter part of their claim, however I take full responsibilty for the way my writing...

Okay so this guy from my new church has been txting me and calling me and frankly working my last nerve! Yes I gave him my number and yes I agreed to one day...one day hanging out with him, but now...he gets nothing! I mean he seemed like a good guy at first, a little quirky, but harmless non the less. Then he sent me a txt msg that truly offended me first as a woman and second as a christian woman. He had the nerve to send me this txt at like 4:15 in the morning.... "I need your help if you will. See every morning I awake to a somewhat annoying friend. I have no problem making friends with him but now WOODY needs a V..." WT Flip! I could not believe what I was reading. This from a man that is supposed to be a man of God. Now I know we are not perfect and we are growing in Christ Jesus, but this was totally inappropriate. I of course let him know it and ended all convo with him after that. Well I didn't get my cell number changed for about 2 days later he calls me with so...

I am feeling so rejected right now. I had to say that out loud. I don't feel any better, but I had to say it. I had to slap the Devil in his face with the very thing he is trying use to hurt me with. I have been down this road so many times til it is not funny anymore. I find myself standing outside of myself and shaking my head thinking "how did I get here again..." How did I get here? I walked right into the line of fire that's how. Just when I thought I was over the BIG "R"...here it is again. Allow me to introduce you to the "R" it's real name is Rejection and it is an ugly emotion to feel. It's main purpose is to make you feel less then adequate and unsure of yourself. I am well acquainted with this emotion and I have been fighting like hell to get rid of it. I hate when I am made to feel unsure of myself by anyone...especially by me. I am my own worst enemy. I was first introduced to Rejection when I was a little girl. See my Father l...

Okay as I lay here and listen to the screaming and yelling, fussing and fighting from the couple next door, I realize just how blessed I am to be single. I get lonely like the rest and I often long for the need for companionship, but when all is said and done...I am truly gratful for singledom. Now they (the couple next door) have been yelling since 11:47 and it is now a quarter to 1 in the morning. It amazes me what some people will take from another. I can remember being crazy about this guy who was and is in love with another girl. I mean what else could it be...he would take so much from her and off her that it was only befitting to call it love. Toni Braxton sings a song called "Trippin" in the song there is a line that says "Ain't nobody ever proved their loved when/things are all good and two people are smiling/Love is found way down in the trenches when/he's throwing a fit and she's sitting there crying" I always thought that line was made up or ...

Missing woman’s car found; vigil held... News and Politics Family holds vigil, prays for safe return By Emma Graves Fitzsimmons Tribune staff reporter September 23, 2007 The family of a Chicago woman who disappeared five days ago held out hope Saturday that she is still alive even after police found her car in Hammond.Police found Nailah Franklin's vehicle near an abandoned building and recovered some of her personal belongings there. The information led them to a nearby pond at a golf course, but they did not find anything there, authorities said.Franklin, 28, an Eli Lilly and Co. pharmaceutical representative, has been missing since Tuesday. "We're watching and waiting," her older sister, Lehia Franklin Acox said. "We're hopeful that finding these things will lead us to Nailah."On Saturday morning, divers searched a pond at River Oaks Golf Course near the Bishop Ford Freeway and 159th Street in Calumet City.Chicago police had located her car a short di...

Okay well it's the day after my 34th birthday. My BFF Linny called me this morning and asked me how do I feel being a whole year and a day older, and I must say I don't feel any different then I did before. I mean I am grateful to God for another opportunity to do better and better and better. I am just a bit dissappointed at where my life is right now. I feel I should be in a different place. My guy Teej said something so profound in one of his blogs. He said "My 20's were for learning s**t. My 30 are for applying the s**t I learned" Minus the curse words...I totally agree. Now I have gone to school and became a teacher, but then I decided I didn't want to do that by the time I had my own children...then I had my 3rd miscarriage and that was that. Since then I have had 2 long term jobs at which I learned several great skills. I just feel I should be doing more. I woke up this morning and began to cry. Not because I was ungrateful, but because I was sad. Sad a...

If you ever wanted to know what kind of person I am in Christ Jesus...Listen to this song right here. Be Blessed:)

Why is it that no matter how old you become, ur parents (esplly ur mother) have a way of making you feel like a kid again? I mean it is so weird to me that I am approaching 34 in 3 days and my Mother still treats me like a child. Not to mention how she talks to me...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I just want to scream at the top of my lungs sometimes. We live in the same house (well its my sisters house...don't ask) and I try my best to stay out of her way. I know that the person I am and the way I think sets her off, so I mind my own business. But then there are times when she will need me to do something for her or with her, and no matter how hard I try to make things smooth; I can't seem to do/say anything right. Take tonight for instance. I have been gone from my first apt which has gone condo since october of last year. And since that time I have moved not once...not twice...but three times. Now keep that in mind ur gonna need that info later. My oldest nephew was taking out the tr...

I attend FCC Church in Munster IN and my Pastor has a way of getting the point across. These pics are from his sermon "Saddle up and ride!" it was awesome! Can you believe we had live horses in the sanctuary? Awesome.... Until we read again... Dee

 Okay, so I have been feeling a little "single" latley and normally that is a good thing as far as I am concerned. Normally I have no problem being "single" matter of fact I like it. I am in the process of learning how to be single in Christ Jesus, and I am loving it! However, here lately I have been feeling the effects of being "single" and I gotta tell you.... "it sucks!" I see so many relationships all around me that I wouldn't put together in a million years, but its not my choice now is it. When choosing a mate, why do some men perfer the slutty over the sexy? Or the "brawling woman" over the submisson proverbs 31 woman? It amazes how some of the guys that I found to interesting, found me to be boring and worst yet "to sweet" what! Can you believe that? I would think that the only thing I would ever be guilty of would be "loving too much" if that is at all possible. Then there is my friend ...

Father's Love Letter My Child... You may not know me, but I know everything about you... Psalm 139:1 I know when you sit down and when you rise up... Psalm 139:2 I am familiar with all your ways... Psalm 139:3 Even the very hairs on your head are numbered... Matthew 10:29-31 For you were made in my image... Genesis 1:27 In me you live and move and have your being... Acts 17:28 For you are my offspring... Acts 17:28 I knew you even before you were conceived... Jeremiah 1:4-5 I chose you when I planned creation... Ephesians 1:11-12 You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book... Psalm 139:15-16 I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live... Acts 17:26 You are fearfully and wonderfully made... Psalm 139:14 I knit you together in your mother's womb... Psalm 139:13 And brought you forth on the day you were born... Psalm 71:6 I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me... John 8:41-44 I am not ...

8/10/07 Breathe Stretch Shake let it go! Current mood: anxious Category: Life Go, Speak, Move, Bare! ...list (Later there will be a "List") Did you know that the pain of rejection will cause you to question your path? Well it can and it will. As a recovering "Fear of Rejection" patient who has to chk herself into Gods hospital every now and then, I am well aware of this type of distraction. Isaiah 53:3 speaks about Jesus' rejection by Israel . Jesus' mission would involve great pain, suffering, disappointment and grief because of the sins of humankind. Likewise, we will likely experience a measure of suffering and rejection (read 2 Cor 11:23) And....Find ur happy place! Here is the list: 1. He is such a powerful man of God... 2. There I go again s...

Okay, so I was on crackspace reading one of my friends bulletins, he called it "If I were in charge of the world." and it got me to thinking what I would do if I were in charge of the world....can you image being in charge of the world? Everything is up to you...you can govern any and everything you wish. Change ish that otherwise would stay the same, and create new ish that everyone would have to abide by. I know exactly what I would do and what changes I would make if I were in charge of the world. Wanna know? Sure you do..... ....If the world were Pink... .(in no special order) I'd be President of the United States LL Cool J would be the First Man and Gary Dourdan would be my "press" secretary... lol ! The White house would be Pink (of course) and only men would work there... (hey sorry ladies. Rules are rules) Taxes would only be 1% Driving a Hybrid car would be mandatory! Boys with their pants sagging to their knees would be forced to walk the stree...

Stinkin Thinkin... (Fear) Power! You go to the amusement park with your brave on. You head straight for the highest ride they have. You stand in a ridiculous line just to be the next one to board the ride; when all of a sudden you panic...you change your mind and retreat to the nearest exit. What just happened? Fear happened. 2nd Timothy 1:7 tells us that God has not given us the spirit of Fear, however He does goes us a sound mind and common sense. And let me say that common sense tells me not to get on anything that high (amusement park rides) except a plane! Fear does several things: 1. Fear dominates strongly in our environments. 2. Fear will kill you (it is stress) 3. Fear expects the worst and not the best. 4. Fear i...

Okay, so it is true...I do not know how to ride a bicycle. However that is or should I say was just fine with me up until today. I have always been the one of the sisters in my household that never wanted to get hurt ie ; scrape a knee, bruise a body part, cut something, however you could possibly get hurt...I didn't want to know about it! That was until I somehow got up the nerve to finally learn how to ride a bike. My part two reason is now that my sister and I have this fabulous relationship and she and her children and fiance go bike riding all the time...guess who didn't like being left out? That's right me! Me and my bright ideas... The family went to Target today and I saw the cutest pink bike ever. I merely stated that it was the right size bike for me....provided I knew how to ride. So my sister bought it for me as an early birthday gift. (Side note to ALL FRIENDS: my birthday is coming up. September 20 th to be exact. So mark your calendars!) Any who.......

Click here: Aids 25 Years And Counting Blog | MURDERER? Man with HIV Gets Life for Sex Case - Black Voices Blogs Posted May 11th 2007 9:57AM by Angela Bronner Filed under: AIDS: 25 Years and Counting Y es, this story is sensational, but is worth putting out there: "An HIV-positive man who Texas prosecutors say secretly videotaped sexual encounters with 131 young men was sentenced to life in prison for attempting to entice a 15-year-old boy to engage in sex acts." During his trial, prosecutors alleged Willie Atkins knew of his condition yet endangered dozens of partners by rarely using condoms, and that there was no evidence that he warned anyone that he was HIV-positive. Atkins was sentenced Friday for attempting to entice a minor for sex, which is punishable by up to 10 years in prison. Because Atkins had two previous felony convictions, for aggravated robbery and firearms possession, he was eligible for the life sentence." ( Source ) Basically, A...

Imagine Me lyrics Imagine me Loving what I see when the mirror looks at me cause I I imagine me In a place of no insecurities And I'm finally happy cause I imagine me Letting go of all of the ones who hurt me Cause they never did deserve me Can you imagine me? Saying no to thoughts that try to control me Remembering all you told me Lord, can you imagine me? Over what my mama said And healed from what my daddy did And I wanna live and not read that page again [Chorus:] Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally finally I can... Imagine me I admit it was hard to see You being in love with someone like me But finally I can... Imagine me Being strong And not letting people break me down You won't get that joy this time around Can you imagine me? In a world (in a world) where nobody has to live afraid Because of your love fears gone away Can you imagine me? [Bridge:] Letting go of my past And glad I have ...

Foodology Q. What is your salad dressing of choice? A. Ranch Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant? A. McDonalds Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? A. Grand Lux Michigan Ave Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? A. 10% Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of? A. Cereal Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice? A. Chicken Q. What do you like to put on your toast? A. Apple butter!!! It's Fye! Q. What is your favorite type of gum? A. Don't chew gum TECHNOLOGY Q. Number of contacts in your email address book? A. 52 Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer? A. A Pic of Gary Dourdan! Q. How many televisions are in your house? A. 2 BIOLOGY Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed? A. I'm Abidextrous Q.Do you like your smile? A. Of Course! Q. What's your best feature? A. MY SMILE Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? A. yes A TATTOO Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? A...

*Author Unknown* I am ascending the ladder of prosperity. My hard work, dedication, and perseverance are paying off. I’m not looking back, I’m only looking forward. Today I graduate from being small minded. Today I graduate from being an under achiever. Today I graduate from being negative. Today I graduate from holding grudges. Today I graduate from being stagnant. Today I graduate from procrastination. Today I graduate from the guilt of my past. Today I graduate from dishonesty. Today I graduate from betrayal. Today I graduate from unhealthy relationships. Today I graduate from painful memories. Today I graduate from unhealthy relationships. Today I graduate from being petty. Today I graduate from dealing with people who add no value to my life. Today I graduate from low self esteem. Today I graduate from selfishness. Today I graduate from Jealousy! Today I graduate from skepticism. I am moving on...I am moving up...I am focused on progression. I am HEALED and headed for success. I r...