"Dee~Dee he IS looking for his RIB." A quote by Naomi

Okay so I was feeling a little lonely the other day and I reached for my Rabbit and just as I was about to click the button...my phone rang. "Damn it!" I shouted at the phone. At first I wasn't gonna answer it but then I was hoping it was a call that I had been waiting for so I put my rabbit on hold and answered the phone. Now how many of you know that when God wants you to stop doing something...you will? When I answered the phone it was my Naomi. She wanted to ask me about the Sexual Healing Retreat that is taking place November 18-20. Can you believe that? Right when I was feeling lonely and about to handle my own business...*if you know what I mean* Here I get a call from Naomi concerning a Spiritual Retreat on Healing for your soul concerning SEX! WTF? Right? I know...God wants a complete yes from your girl no diggady!

Okay so we are talking and she tells that I still have time to register for certain classes. I really want to take the one she is going to teach entitled...'The Prostitute I used to be' now don't let the title fool you...it's not about whoring your body to men...it's about selling out who you are to be apart of the in crowd...the clicks if you will. Much like a prostitute does when she plays a roll for the person she is about to entertain...I'm talking about them show nuff prostitutes...not them ol raggady ones on the block *ewwwwwwww* So while we are talking she asked me about Taj and Tony...well I told her that they are no longer apart of my life in the way that I would have liked for them to be...esp Tony...I would have married him. *sigh* Then she asked me about....whoa I almost said the name of my crush...whew that was a close one! and I told her that I am still a punk to the 5th degree and that it is probably best if I keep it that way...for now anyway. This folks is when she began to break it down for a sister. She is like my guardian angel and it's like she can tell when I am sad or depressed about one thing or another. She told me that God said I was feeling sad about being lonely. Now I know she ain't lying folks because I don't tell anyone my business...unless you count you guys...but ya'll don't know Naomi! So again I say, I keeps my ish to myself and only talk to the Lord about ish like that.

Well when she began to tell me what she was picking up in the spirit, I began to cry. See I am the type of person that is such a hopeless romantic. I used to sit up in my bedroom window and pretend I was a princess waiting to be rescued by a handsome prince....that is until some dude hollering from the street and almost made me fall out the window. Niggs! I swear! Anyway I dreamt that he would ride up on his white horse and take me away...and I would live happily ever after. Then I met June and reality set in. Then came Lance and then Taj and then Tony and then....well you get my point. I met a whole lot of FROGS...but no PRINCEs. So naturally I am feeling a little bit sad by the fact that to this day I am still lonely and wanting. Wanting what you ask? Wanting Love...Wanting to be held...touched. Wanting to kissed that special way that only a MAN can kiss a WOMAN. Wanting to feel safe. Wanting to smiled at like only a MAN can smile at a WOMAN. *awwwwww* it's a wonderful feeling. I have felt it before so I know. I have never been in love though can you believe that? I have been in lust before. And I have been in love with what a man could do for me...but not IN LOVE. I know this because...I just know.

Well this is the part that made me write this post. She was explaining to me that I have a FEAR OF REJECTION SPIRIT and that I feel like I have to play by certain rules in order for a man to stick around. In other words I feel that if I don't play the game...he will leave me or some ish. Damn! I thought I was past this here mess. Guess not. No wonder I choose to be single. I am afraid of being rejected again. The HOTTIE dude from the 2nd floor finally asked me out the other day and do you good folks know what I said....*out of fear apparently* "I can't make it...maybe some other time." WTF? I have been living in this building for 9 years and have been wanting that particular dude to ask me out ever since....I'm losing it folks...yes indeedy. She gave me some scriptures to read and prayed with me before we ended our conversation. The last thing that she said to me before she hung up was...."Dee-Dee, he IS looking for his Rib." That has stuck with me ever since. To know that there is a guy out there that is looking ME! Because I complete him...whoa bottom of the ocean right? I know.

Well needless to say I took my Rabbit off, turned over and went to sleep knowing that I will be found sooner...then later.