The Plair Fam On A Roof...WTH?

Okay so I posted eariler today (Current Mood:...) but then I get a phone call from someone on the Plair Fam reunion committee, and they began to tell me about some "changes" that had been made to the reunion next year. You know the one that I really don't want to attend in the first place? You know the one where I was made the liquid refreshment agent for like some 150 ppl? *they can keep dreamin on that there one* You know the one I'm talking about right? (read this for details) Anyway right before she began to speak on it, I asked her could I call her back in like 20 minutes or so. See I had to mentally prepare for what ever it was that she was going to tell me...I really didn't want to talk to her, but I thought to myself..."Dee~Dee that's not the right spirit. After all she is family...well sort of." Well I eventually called her back and what she told me was the dumbest burnch of mess I have ever heard of! I mean I was taken aback folks. The things some of us black folks do and say trips me out! Or am I just bougie as hell and wouldn't be caught dead doing some of the ish she was suggesting in our (what felt like 2hr) conversation? You be the judge.

*give or take a few words here and there of course*

Me: Hello my I speak to Eva?
Eva: This me...who is this?
Me: It's Danni...
Eva: Who?
Me: *throwing my head into the palm of my hand...wtf?* Danni from Chicago?
Eva: Oh! hey girl...I forgot your voice there for a minute. What's up?
Me: *Naw you just smoked wayyyyy to murch crack in your past, and now that ish is catching up to you. And how you forget my voice...we just spoke 15 minutes ago* Okayyyyy. I'm calling you back you tell me.
Eva: Tell you what?
Me: *rolling my eyes* Are you kidding me Eva? You told me they made some changes to the reunion and you wanted to tell me about them....remember?
Eva: Right! girl I don't know where my head be at sometimes...(laughing)
Me: I do....(the voice of the Lord) "Don't say it daughter." *...fine!* Okay, so what's up?
Eva: Well first of all...(Boy! put that remote down and go somewhere and sit down!) Sorry girl these kids.

Pause

Don't ya'll hate it when you talking to someone and then they start yelling at their kids at the same time? I really...really hate that ish. Let's continue.

Me: Right....

Eva: Anyway, John is gonna get Pepsi to donate lots of pop, so you might not have to buy as much for us to drink...*cutting her off*

Me: So is he going to get Budweiser to donate as well, because I told you I am not buying any alcohol.

Eva: Danni, ppl drink in this family and just because you don't...*cutting her off AGAIN*

Me: I'm not buying any alcohol Eva and that's final. Next topic plz.

Eva: Granny is going to upset but...*...why me?...*

Me: Okay then if "granny" (I'm such a sarcastic a**) is going to be upset, then I want everyone at the party that wants to drink, to bend down on their knees and pray before they enter the room.

Eva: Everybody is not churchy like you guys Danni, and you can't make them...*you guessed it folks*

Me: My point exactly! Next topic.

Eva: (Ugh!!!!) We are having the picnic/party on the roof...

*Screeching sound*

Pause

Has this chick lost her ever loving mind! What makes her think that it will be WISE to have a picnic/party on the roof of a building? And I know she is not talking about the building she lives in...they live on the 12th floor or some ish! Naw h*ll naw! I mean what happens when some one who has had one to many gets to acting like a complete fool, and starts thinking he can fly and ends up pavement paste huh? Did they think about that? Not to mention I am quite sure you have to climb one of those fire escape thingies, and I for one will not subject my Manolo's to that kind of torture! Naw h*ll naw! Let's continue.

Me: Come again?

Eva: Yeah they said it was going to cost xxxx to get a permit for the park, so we decided that the roof would be more fun anyway.

Me: Fun for who? Don't you guys live on the like 12th floor or something?

Eva: 1oth...

Me: K...same thing! How many floors does your apartment building have?

Eva: Ummmm if you count the the lobby and store area...16

Me: *shaking my head* Eva...how are we supposed to get the older ppl in the wheel chairs on the roof of a 16 story building?

Eva: They just won't come to that part of the picnic/party then. I don't know.

Me: *piss poor planning....* Okay let me ask you this. Why are you guys reluctant to pay the fee to use the park? I mean don't you guys have that much already from ppl who have paid already? I know at least 3 ppl have put some money down by now right?

Eva: We haven't even sent out the sheets for that yet.

Me: *The sheets? Who am I talking to Elmo or some d*mn body? It'a called the Plair Family Reunion information/itinerary packets...ugh!* Why?

Eva: Why what?

Me: Okay Eva...imma call you back tomorrow sometime okay I have to process all this new information okay?

Eva: Okay girl don't forget to call me okay?

Me: I *will* won't...bye now.

*give or take a few words here and there of course*

I have absolutely no idea what planet these ppl have come from nor do I care to know...all I know is this...THEY ARE CRAZY! Lord grant me the grace and wisdom to.....*dee~dee in deep prayer for the fam right now......*

U.W. R. A:)