You Think You Know...Do You Have Any Idea?

Okay well today was a better day then yesterday. I woke up and said to my self and myself said huh? (lol) Let's try to keep our sh*t together today okay? And I did just that! I went to work and laughed and played with the children and talked freely with my co-workers. Today was a good day!

Then one of my friends called me and dished me out some more drama and for a split second I almost lost it again...but then I remembered the pact that I had made with myself this morning, and I quickly got a grip.

Now anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely loves my cell phone. And when it is off (cause of course I talk to much) I can barely take it. I sleep with the d*mn thing ya'll so not to miss any calls!! I'm a mess...yes I know. Anyway the pact that I made with myself was so strong that when them gossiping niggas!! called me...I didn't even answer my phone. That's right I did answer my phone all day! well, with the exception of Tress and Yellowboi (he owes me some money that's why...and I wants my money damnit!!)

Well later on this evening while at my second job, I was talking to one of the guys in the room with me and we were talking about life in general. One of the CNA's came into the room and joined the conversation. While we were talking she made the comment that she wishes she could be more like me....Wtf? No the heck you don't!! is what I was thinking to myself. she was somehow under the impression that I had the perfect freakin life and that I had ALL MY SH*T TOGETHER!! I said "mandy, you don't want to be like me. My so called life will have you broke, anorexic, sickly and pulling your hair out!" She thought I was joking so I broke it down for her. I said "Alright mandy since you want to be like me so d*mn bad...here's what you gotta do."

First you have to get up everyday at 4:00 in the morning and take your fussing mother to the bus pick-up spot for her job, and listen to her as she tries to set you up with one of her old a** co-workers. Then you have to rush back home, try to get at least 1 hour of sleep in before you have to get back up and get ready for your own job, which you hate like h*ll going to in the first place. Then you must try not to over sleep cause if you do you will be late and your cranky nasty attitude administrator will b***h and moan all day long until you are contemplating choking the crap out of her a** Ally McBeal style!!

Now in between all of that you have to pick up your nephews who are always late and possibly one of your co-workers, cause you are captain save em all!! Then you have to try to be happy with the situation you are in long enough for 3:00 to roll around cause that's when you can go back to your trailer...cause that scene is tapped and done!! Breathe a minute right here....1....2....3. See right here you are having a panic attack...quite possibly your second one today. So after a few stolen moments from your sanity, you jump in the car and begin the second part of your day.

It's about 4:00 now and before you go any further, you need to stop and check your sugar level. See you are a diabetic...have been since you were a child. So while sitting in the car waiting for your mother's yellow school bus to pull up, you have to pull out your needle and alcohol pads cause you have to stick yourself to check your sugar. Now keep in mind that you are in the Target parking lot and cars are driving pass you. And every freaking day they seem to have a different security guard driving around making sure everything is on the up and up. Remember last time one of them thought you were shootin up and tried to have you arrested? That wasn't any fun was it? So after all that is done you have to go to your second job. See fall is coming up and your broke d*mn near out of work a** has to keep up the"jones" and sh*t! So you travel some 8-10 miles to a partime job so you can afford a new pair of Manolo Blahniks and possibly a new Louis Vuittion handbag for the fall. (that's why your a** broke now)

So while sitting at the computer all night long you have to (this is optional) answer phone calls from annoying ex-boyfriends, weirdo guys who shouldn't have given your number to in the first place. Girlfriends who only know DRAMA, your mother who wants to know can you stop and pick her up a pack of cigarettes on your way in, and inbetween all that you must somehow guard your heart from being broken yet again....(Ahhhhhhhhhh!!)

Now that you are finally home you need to run to your beloved computer and check your emails and read your buddies blogs. Now this part could get tricky right here. See you made it home at like 11:40-45, and you need to go to bed cause you have to do this same sh*t all over again tomorrow!! So what do you do? Take your bath and go the h*ll to sleep? Or stay up on your computer all night long IMing folks and reading blogs? Well if you want to be me, you choose the latter. So therefore you are tired and cranky this next morning not wanting to let that bed go, but you have to cause the world is ready for your "close up" Ms. Dee-Dee.

"Still want to be me? I didn't think so!!"