"She" Is Working My Nerves. How Long Is Long~Suffering?

As I sit here at my computer and type this new entry...I cry. I feel today like I just can't take another freakin thing!! I woke up this morning with a smile on my face and ended my day with tears and a major headache. Now I'm writing this to get any sympathy from my fellow blogger buddies nor am I trying to make the people who pissed me off and hurt my feelings mad or disgruntle. I am just trying to find an outlet for this pain I feel right now and writing always makes me feel better....that and a new pair of SHOES!!


In about 3 more days camp will be over and I (unless God performs a fast miracle) will be out of a job. Now that is not the thing that upsets me. What upsets me is the fact that the person responsible for me losing my job, is continually making my life a living hell...and she somehow "doesn't seem to see it" ...well if she could look inside my heart right now she would know different. I have been faithful to my job and to her (as an employee). I stuck around while almost every staff person she has had left her high and dry. I would always defend her when others would bad mouth her and say untrue things about her.

When her mother took ill and she had to leave town, who ran her company and took no vacation time? ME!!
When the inspectors came out and her sh*t was not in order, who took care of every detail? ME!!
When she got in trouble with the IRS, who searched through stacks of files, called them and straighten everything out? ME!! I could go on and on tooting my horn and wagging my own tail about the numerous times I have put me aside and put her and her company first...but I won't cause I think ya'll get my damn point.

As I told you guys in "The Emancipation Of Dee-Dee" she had to let me go due to some legal mess and that she then denied my unemployment. Then she had the sheer nerve to try and give me the option of coming back to work for her, with the exception that I go back to school for another 3 years...NOT SO MUCH!! NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! I felt like she was trying to keep me in bondage or something. Sh*t! Slavery days are long gone. And if they weren't I would be a house nigga anyway, so f**k that!!

She is also my administrator at church for the children's department and she is treating me like a stepchild there as well. She came into the Children's Department one time in 4 1/2 years and sees that the children were low in numbers and now she wants to "make some changes"...Well I'll be....Thanks!! (oooooohhhhh!!) She made me so mad with that mess right there. I have been over the children's department for almost five years and I've had (by myself) more then 70 children at one time. So now that the numbers are low you want to "make some changes" and what not...nigga please!! When I was begging for some help you couldn't find me none (smirk) Well now she is running around say and assuming things about me that are not true....well you know they talked about Jesus so who the h*ll am I right?

Now, just to let you know, everytime I see this woman; I am nothing but nice to her. I don't show any of the emotions I am displaying right now. I speak with my normal tone even though I want to scream and curse her face off. I treat her the same way I always have. As a matter of fact I treat her better. I believe what the bible tells us...Romans 12:19 - Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." So you see, all the dirt she is doing me, she will surely get it back!!

When I think of all the times I have always been there for other people and made myself available for them, I feel like I was just being used and abused. Like they were just waiting for their opportunity to pounce on me drag me through the mud. Like they were just befriending me in order to use me for my talents and strip me of my self worth. If salvation was solely based upon how you treat people, this lady wouldn't be saved at all. I am not here to question a person's salvation nor am I a questioning hers...but answer this...(i'll phrase in a Jeapordy sort of way) Who has completely forgotten how to treat people and lies to herself and to the LORD everytime she does something to hurt me and break my heart?.....Your answer dee-dee....."She"

Pray for me ya'll.....P.S. I'm still finishing up my song(s) list and tags...coming soon trust and know:)